I do admit that's it's calm and relaxing to look at a grassy pasture. With the hot scorching sun shining above from the sky. The warm Summer winds blowing against the blades of grass. Oh yeah, Summer is the perfect time to relax outdoors. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy walking along the city streets too. However, a person tends to enjoy the peaceful tranquility of towns that are in the middle of nowhere if somebody has been living in the middle of nowhere for as long as I have been doing. Anyway, the month is July and Summer continues to make it's path across the calendar.
Literary books worth reading: Tevye the Dairyman and Motl the Cantor's Son by Sholem Aleichem
Yeah sure, a land mine is a barrel of laughs when a soldier places a land mine for somebody fighting for the opposing army to step on. It's easy to just say point and laugh when some poor shmuck steps on it and gets blown to bits. However, the landmine isn't so funny when somebody fighting for the United States of America steps on a landmine. Then you wonder why explosives are even used at all when fighting wars. Gone are the sword fights and the archery fired arrows of Medieval Europe. Now we aspire to bake the skin in fire and place a human being into ground zero of a horrible, but contained explosion of horrific proportions. The cost of war have gotten much higher than it has in the past. And sometimes it's much better to bury the hatchet and make peace instead.
Sunday morning is here. I always knew it was at least seven days away all the way back on Monday and now that moment has returned. And on this Sunday, let's make it through the day without any fighting. Let's make it through the day without any riots, wars, revolutions, civil wars and assorted other nastiness. Let's make it through the day without strife, anger or bigotry. Instead, let's spend Sunday morning appreciating each other as equals. Instead, let's spend Sunday morning without the need to seek revenge. Instead, let's spend Sunday morning making peace instead of waging war. Trust me when I say the Gentle Reader will feel better when offering the olive branch instead of a bullet. And trust me when I say that the world will be better off too.
I was sitting on a bench looking at the street after the rain fell. Somebody approached me to have a conversation.
DUDE: I'm trying to find somebody.
ME: Who are you trying to find?
DUDE: Somebody who is too different looking to be found.
ME: You're not being specific enough. How is this person too different looking to be found?
DUDE: I don't know. He looks different. He's the most different looking person anybody has ever known. And despite having obsessive compulsive tendencies, the Man Who Was Too Different Looking to be Found was never located. You would've figured that somebody who was intelligent, obsessive compulsive and looked like that would be easy to find. But not even the FBI can track The Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found.
ME: What do you intend to do when you find the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found? Will you celebrate his existence with reward and praise? Will you punish him for horrible unspecified crimes? You're still not specific enough.
DUDE: I don't know. The Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found needs to be located. It will be one hell of a party when the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found is found. It will be one hell of an eventful party that nobody will forget. To bad everybody keeps forgetting the physical appearance of the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found. I'm telling you that the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found has become an urban legend.
ME: I never found the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found. But I'll let you know when I manage to find whoever it is your looking for.
DUDE: That would be much appreciated. Thanks. Do you know where they sell marijuana?
ME: The nearest Marijuana Store is in Colorado and we're in Columbus, Ohio. Marijuana is illegal in Columbus, Ohio.
DUDE: Oh man, that sucks. Oh well, I'm off to find the Man Who is Too Different Looking To Be Found. Wish me luck.
ME: Good luck.
The Dude walked off and vanished into the distance.
I was walking down the street one day when I encountered somebody I knew, but I kept forgetting what his name was.
WHAT'SHISFACE: Hello Mr. Hitchcock.
ME: Hello again.
WHAT'SHISFACE: It's a bad day for a Wealthy Well to do Family from Wellington.
ME: How is that so?
WHAT'SHISFACE: This Wealthy Well to do Family from Wellington has two sons, two daughters and an older aged Born Out of Wedlock Son. The Born Out of Wedlock Son is from the Father's extra-marital fling with an Unknown Lady in the late 1960's. As you can imagine, born out of wedlock children are considered filth and disgusting no matter how well behaved, well mannered and blending in with high society they happen to be. So this Born Out of Wedlock Son is hated by this Lawfully Wedded Wife of the No Good Rotten Cheating Sonofabitch. The Lawfully Wedded Wife decreed that Born Out of Wedlock Son is not allowed into the family mansion. Not allowed a place at the family table. Not allowed contact with anybody else in the family. So Born Out of Wedlock Son joined a Top Secret Band of Mercenaries. Born Out of Wedlock Son did very well and took only three years to become Colonel of the Top Secret Band of Mercenaries and won a really huge battle.
ME: That's great. I'm happy for Born Out of Wedlock Son.
WHAT'SHISFACE: It's not as happy as you think. Keep in mind that children born out of wedlock is looked down upon as lower than scum even if they are well behaved and socially appropriate. And the lower ranking officers of this Top Secret Band of Mercenaries hated taking orders from somebody who was born out of wedlock. So they revolted. Born Out of Wedlock Son executed a few of those lower ranking officers for not taking orders. So Born Out of Wedlock Son was beaten up and killed by his own armed forces right there on the battlefield. They didn't even bother to have him arrested. They just beat him up and killed him on the spot.
ME: That's horrible.
WHAT'SHISFACE: It gets worse.
ME: How could it get worse.
WHAT'SHISFACE: The Oldest Born Legitimate Born Son was sent to death row for beating up, shooting and nearly drowning his wife three hours after marrying her simply because she won't let him have sex with his mistress during the honeymoon. Oldest Born Legitimate Born Son was never removed from either the mansion nor the family table because he was of legitimate birth. Legitimate Born Son won't be able to make use of either the mansion nor his seat at the family table because of the whole death row inmate bit, but hey nobody's perfect.
ME: I could see how that could get worse.
CRAZY WOMAN (Standing next to me): What the fuck is your goddamn problem?
CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN: (Standing next to me): You accuse my birth father of being an Al Qaeda Terrorist, send him to prison and then arrange for him to be killed. You send my birth mother into a lunatic asylum twice. So I got revenge by killing your spouse, killing all of your legitimate born children, spared your illegitimate born children because illegitimate born children are lower than sewage and not worth the bother to be killed. The final piece of my needlessly convoluted revenge plan that should've been easy to escape from had you bankrupted all the way down to homeless vagrancy before having you crippled from the neck down with third degree burns. It serves you right for what you did to my parents.
CREEP WHO FATHERED THE CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN: (Standing next to me): Guess what daughter? I'm alive. Not only did I escape from prison which is a felony, but I hid from the police in an Al Qaeda Terrorist Training Camp learning how to hate the United States of America. Oh yeah, your Crazier Than Shit Mother needs to be in a lunatic asylum for the rest of her natural life because she keeps having weird paranoid delusions and unnecessary unprovoked psychotic outbursts against innocent people for no reasons whatsoever.
CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN (Standing next to me): Holy shit, you're supposed to be dead.
CREEP WHO FATHERED THE CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN (Standing next to me): Guess what pumpkin? I've been alive the whole entire time.
CRAZY WOMAN (Standing next to me): You were trying to say something to me?
CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN (Standing next to me): A funny thing just happened. It turns out that you were right about everything the whole entire time. Sorry about that.
CRAZY WOMAN (Standing next to me): Somebody please beat the shit out of these two jerks over there. I'm sick and tired of looking at them.
CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN (Standing next to me): I think we better make a run for it.
CREEP WHO FATHERED THE CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN (Standing next to me): That would be a good idea pumpkin.
CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN and the CREEP WHO FATHERED THE CRAZIER THAN SHIT WOMAN proceed to run for their lives away from the wheel chair bound CRAZY WOMAN.
The morning arrives to signal a new day. It's Friday. Chirping birds are heard in the distance. A quick look out of the window finds a light accumulation of clouds. Friday has arrived yet again Gentle Reader. I got the day off at Bob Evans. I have no worries. I have no concerns. I feel both calm and relaxed. Sitting back to relax would be a good thing to do today. Enjoy each moment and never take anything for granted. Enjoy life and enjoy everything that life has to offer. Soon there will be breakfast to be enjoyed. The day for optimism and happiness begins today.
The grassy field behind the house has been mowed. The sky is a deep shade of blue and I could hear the sound of birds chirping. It's Thursday. The weekend is less than a day away. The future isn't some distant intangible object that's never reached and easy to delay the arrival of. People who think the future is easy to delay the arrival of are fools who are kidding themselves. It was never that case at all. Time flies quicker than expected. It's best to have a plan for the future in place because tomorrow is always just a few seconds away. Always remember that no matter where you go, there you are.
Among the life events that I experienced this year, being sent to the Trauma Ward of the Hospital after being hit from behind by a car while riding my bike to work is the one thing that I never want to experience again. Don't get me wrong, the medical care that I received was great. But still, being sent to the hospital for anything was already uncomfortable. Being sent to the hospital after being struck by a car was beyond being the worst ever. I still don't own a replacement bicycle after the old bicycle was trashed when I was struck from behind by a car. At least I was struck from behind and not struck from directly upfront. Going through somebody's windshield after being struck from upfront by a car would be beyond devastating. So yeah, it could've been worst and thankfully it wasn't the worst.
I woke up to look up at the sky. The sky is a deep shade of blue with few clouds in sight. So I guess no rain will fall today. And with a morning that's both calm and carefree, it gives me the chance to ponder a few thoughts...
1. Why is it that Hollywood movie villains are almost always played by Englishmen.
2. In Hollywood movies, you know an isolated farming town in the Deep South are filled exclusively with evil bullies because the town Sheriff (Or the closest thing to the town Sheriff) is an a-hole and almost always the main villain and the United States Government isn't involved.
3. In Hollywood movies, you know an isolated farming town in the Deep South are only filled exclusively with nice people because the town Sheriff (Or the closest thing to a town Sheriff) is never seen by anybody and the United States Government is involved.
4. In Hollywood movies, you know an isolated English farming town are filled exclusively with nice people because the town Sheriff (Or the closest thing to a town Sheriff) is visible and the British Monarchy isn't involved.
5. In Hollywood movies, you know an isolated English farming town are filled exclusively with bullies because the town Sheriff (Or the closest thing to a town Sheriff) isn't visible and the British Monarchy is involved.
6. Why was the television series the Event so obsessed with refusing to let us see the actual event that the television series the Event was supposed to be about? What was I supposed to do to make it possible to see the actual event that the television show The Event was supposed to be about? Was I supposed to talk to somebody? Was I supposed to do something? Was I supposed to write something? Was I supposed to walk on my hands? Was I supposed to perform a magic trick? Or perhaps the script writing was so sloppy that the event that the television show the Event was supposed to be about could never be shown because nothing that television show has ever done ever made any logical sense.
7. Is there such a thing as a stable daytime soap opera marriage or is it always about women who are stupid enough to marry jerks only because they have an extra grand in the wallet and ignore the jerkoff personalities beyond the overflowing cash being offered.
8. Daytime Soap Opera Divorce Lawyers are the wealthiest people on Earth.
9. In Hollywood movies, it's impossible for a woman to divorce a European born villain because the European villain always act like the most deranged type of stalker with electronic surveillance and an excessively unreasonably violent goon squad ready to torture anybody trying to make out with the European born Villain's Girlfriend/Wife.
I was inside watching the rain fall last night. I was employed as a dishwasher at Bob Evans Restaurant when the worst of the rain fell. Heavy sheets of rain fell and was paired with very strong winds. The weather has improved considerably since then. The sky is still cloudy and blue skies isn't likely to appear anytime soon. But rain didn't fall a second time anytime today. Of course, it's possible that rain might fall tomorrow. The Gentle Reader and I will wait and see what the weather will be like when today becomes yesterday and tomorrow becomes today. And all that will happen less than an hour from now as the clock continues to tick onwards towards the future.